Horizontal Lives

True Tales of the Infamous Courtesan: Persephone N. Hades and her Horizontal Life underground. How she got there, her mis-adventures and her struggle to re-surface.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Get F*cked. Be Happy.


He: This is my point.
Me: (licking my lips ala Marilyn Monroe) What’s your point?


He: You’re teasing me now.
Me: I am. I am.
He: I was trying to make a point.
Me: I know.
He: Stop kissing my neck. You make me forget my point.


Me: (lightly touching the outside of his crotch) I like this point.
He: See now, what you’ve done?
Me: Mmm hmm. I’ve made him make the point. Hee hee.
He: Geisha—
Me: Try.
He: Geisha—
Me: Try. I want to see if both heads can work at the same time.
He: You’re a minx. You don’t want to hear my point.
Me: I do. I do. Here. Let him tell me. (I put my mouth on the outside of his pants gently on the outline of his hard cock)


He: Stop now.
Me: No. I think it can happen. I want it to happen. I want it to be possible that both heads could work at the same time. It would change the world. The possibility of it would mean that women everywhere could now hold men up to higher behavioral standards. Think of the effect something like that could have on our entire paradigm of relations?
He: Oh. Right. See. That was my point.


Me: What was?
He: That you should run for Office.
Me: That was your point? How did you get there?
He: It was what I was saying.
Me: What are you talking about? I think you’ve had quite enough Champagne.

(Staring up at him, my fingers slyly begin to unzip his trousers)


He: Stop.
Me: Don’t put him away. He was doing so well. I understand every word he says. I speak—
He: --fluent Penis. I know. Listen. Be a good girl. Sit over there. Let me ask you a question.
Me: All ears.
He: When you vote—you do vote?
Me: Of course I vote.
He: When you vote and you see Candidates on the Ballot for say District 102, or 238 or whatever, and you don’t know who these Candidates are—
Me: Never heard of them.
He: Right.
Me: Okay.
He: What do you do?
Me: I guess I just vote the party line.
He: But you vote for them none-the-less. You don’t just not vote and leave it blank, right?

Me: Right. So what’s your point?
He: I think you should run for Office and see how far up the ladder you get.
Me: Why? Oh my god you are nutty. Why?
He: Look at Bush.
Me: He had Nepotism pushing him all the way up.
He: My point exactly.
Me: No it’s not. It’s a whole other point. What is your first point?

He: You run for Office, right?
Me: No.
He: Just go with me on this one.
Me: Okay. I run for Office.
He: It’s not so absurd you know. They have some ex-Porn Star in Office in Italy.
Me: My love, that is in Europe where they don’t have the Christian Right Wing Parenting Groups.


He: But here’s my point: you run for Office. You get voted in. No one at the lower levels discovers your past. You do a good job.

Me: Yes, but I swallow! How can I deny it when they confront me?

He: But you don't inhale do you?

Me:Never that.

He: So okay. You run for a higher Office and a higher Office and we wait to see how long it takes before the tear the doors off your closet. I bet you’d get far. That’s the absurdity. And once it’s discovered, what a mockery it would make of our Electoral Process. Point driven home.


Me: You’re forgetting one thing.
He: What?


Me: Me! I’m gonna bop you on your head.
He: Ow.
Me: The mockery would be of me!


He: A little you, but more the system. Isn’t it worth it to expose---
Me: No! Okay. I’ll run. What’s my Slogan?
He: I thought of that too.
Me: How much thought have you put into this?
He: I was mulling it over since the last time I saw you.
Me: Now that makes me question my very existence.
He: Why? Isn’t it nice you’ve been on my mind?
Me: Nice but I should be on the mind of this head, not this one! You should be fantasizing about me naked, about how my lips and tongue looked on your cock, how soft my breasts felt when they fell into your mouth—not that I should run for Local Politics!


He: That’s the danger of having a brain in a g-string. Hey, now there’s a Slogan: She is a Brain in a G-String.


Me: Nope. Wouldn’t fly. Women wouldn’t vote for me. They’d just hate me.
He: Oh I know. What was that thing you said last time?
Me: What thing?
He: You were telling me a story and I remember you said something in the middle of it and it was that that got me thinking, ‘that would be a great Slogan’ and that made me think about the entire ‘running for Office’. What was it? What did you say?
Me: I don’t remember.
He: You were telling me about—god what was it? Oh. About the guy you had working for you at one time?
Me: Lester?
He: I don’t remember his name. Tell me the story again and I’ll remember what you said.


Me: Um. I was saying, I had this guy working for me for awhile around my house, taking care of the house and the dog. He was pretty cute and so one night, not so long after I hired him, I came home and he was sitting on the couch lookin’ kinda tasty and I asked him to go to bed with me.

And he’s like, ‘no!’

And I’m like, ‘Why not?’

And he says, "I really need this job."

And I say, ‘well, we can consider part of your job description.’

And he says he doesn’t want to because he doesn’t want to get fired.

And I’m like, ‘why would you get fired? I might give you a raise for extra duties!"

I’m laughing but he isn’t so I apologize and he says ‘you know this could be considered sexual harassment.’ Which really makes me laugh because Oh my God! I would think it would be a great job perk for most guys.

So I say, "Lester, please. You want to. I know it. I can see it in the 'tent you're building'. I want to. It would be fun!"

He just sits there starring at me with a big boner so I grab his hand to pull him up to me and I say, "Lester! Come on. Just get fucked and be happy!" And—


He: That’s it! "Get fucked. Be Happy."
Me: Get fucked. Be Happy.
He: It’s a great Slogan.
Me: A great Bumper-Sticker maybe, but a Political Slogan?

He: It's a Platform of sorts. Not a literal thing. But figuratively, I think it could work--The Courtesan Philosophy of Life put into action on a Grand Scale.

Me:You have truly lost your mind. See. That’s my point.
He: What’s your point?
Me: Only one head can work at a time. Disappointing but proven true time after time.


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