Horizontal Lives

True Tales of the Infamous Courtesan: Persephone N. Hades and her Horizontal Life underground. How she got there, her mis-adventures and her struggle to re-surface.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Everyone Gets Into a Dull Routine...

My Friend: why haven’t you written in the Blog this week?

Me: O, so you’re reading?

MF: I actually feel like I know you better from reading the Blog than I have in all our years of friendship.

Me: No. Really? I guess I understand. We don’t really reveal our ‘day-to-day’ much, do we?

MF: Crazy week?

Me: Beyond. And a bit sad. Became yet again a disposable woman a few days ago. Boomp. Foot on black pedal of garbage. Lid opens. Pops me in. Foot goes away. Lid comes slamming down. Devastating. No explanation. Just bloomp. In the garbage.

MF: Write about that.

Me: I will. I can’t yet. It’s too big. Too confusing. Too painful. I need to understand. I need time to digest it. I just haven’t felt creative—tired, busy—

MF: You know what I liked? I liked when you just wrote out the transcription of your weekly phone calls.

Me: Why?

MF: I find it sort of fascinating how complete strangers perceive you and how they talk to you without even knowing you, just based on your business alone. Write that. Write something!

Transcript of this weeks cumulative messages on my work line:

1. Hello Geisha, its Laurie McGee.

(A man-I used to see him alone for years then he and his wife as a couple for many years but we’ve not seen one another in at least a year now.)

For whatever reason, my Blackberry doesn’t seem to have you’re private number in it so again, once again, I’m calling on this line…

(He always calls on my work line even after five years as he never records my personal number in his Blackberry no matter how many times I give it to him, with the explanation that I sometimes don’t check my work line and may not get his message in time if he doesn’t call me on my cell phone.)

Give me a call at the Office. It would be great to see you again, as I said. Thanks. Oh. By the way, Lisa and I are getting divorced. Bye.

(Oh my god! They were High School sweethearts, had an open marriage and two children—what is going on?)

2. Hey Hey Geisha? Know what I’m doin’ right now? Staring at your hot photos on the Internet and wackin’ my Jack. Does that make you hot baby? Huh? Does it? I got a big slab of meat for you baby. Call me back. Now. Call me back so I can cum in your ear. Call me. 917-888-8888 Oh god yeah. Call me Geisha!

3. Uh uh hi Geisha? This is Jimmy O. We met before and I’ve tried to set something up with you lately but it hasn’t worked out—uh, uh, I know this is last minute (Clears his throat several times loudly)—and I know this is very last minute and uh, I don’t know if you have something available for time early afternoon tomorrow—um, if so…that would be great. If not, um, um, we’ll have to work on something else so if tomorrow isn’t possible then don’t call me back but if it is then call me back…Jimmy O. You have my number. I think. Jimmy O.

(I called him back and set time aside to see him but he didn’t get back to me.)
(This is our third ‘go-around’ like this.)

4. HI. This is Daniel. Just wondering if you had some time tonight. Call me and let me know.

(Daniel calls almost everyday. I saw him three times over a year ago when somehow he was able to plan in advance as my schedule requires. Since then, he just calls my machine everyday for last minute appointments. I rarely call him back as I am rarely available last minute. One time I did call him back—just twenty minutes after he called. I informed him I could see him that evening and inquired as to what times he’d like to come by. He hemmed-and-hawed and finally he told me he would call me back shortly. He never did. Instead he called the next day and the next day and the next day wondering if I were free that evening. Now, no matter how slow my week is, and no matter how much I could use the booking, I do not call him back. He only enjoys playing ‘cat-and-mouse’ and I don’t care to be the mouse.)

5. This is 910-000-0000. (Gravely male voice, sounding perceptively intoxicated) I would like to talk to you. Can you understand that? Can you? Can you understand that? Can you understand me? Can you? I would like to talk to you…if possible. Uh..910-000-0000. Give me a call back Geisha. Do me that much. Or is that too much to ask? Bye.

6. (Giggly female voices near the phone in the background with barely discernable conversation):
‘Say something’. ‘You!’ ‘No you!’ (Into the receiver) ‘You whore!’ (Giggles howling triumphantly in the background. Phone slams down.)

(Well, they sure told me, didn’t they?)

7. Hellooo sweet Geisha. I’ve been following your reviews for quite some time now but I live in Atlanta and haven’t much opportunity to travel to New York. But, as luck would have it, I’m finally coming into the Big Apple on business next week and would be most delightfully honored to spend time in your company for at least two hours.

You can reach me at my office through a switchboard, as you request, at: 444-444-4444. As I said, my name is C.J. or did I say? In any case, my name is C.J. I am truly a gentleman and I believe I fit the description of the type of man you enjoy spending time with, as you state so eloquently on your website. I hope you’ll give me a call.

In terms of being discreet when you call me, as you suggest, this is my Office and I’m sure you’ll do fine in whatever you come up with to say as introduction to yourself. I look forward to hearing from you. Good bye.

8. Hiya Geisha! (An upbeat, warm female voice)

(Immediately I assume it’s another Escort with one of my Clients looking for a reference. I’m wrong.)

My name is Fay. I want to—I was—I saw your website and it’s very beautiful by the way—I was wondering if you see Couples? I actually would like to give this session to my boyfriend for his birthday. We live in Connecticut but we can come to you in the City. No problem. Uh.

We’re both very very very clean and very very well groomed and we’re both in very very very good shape and both good-looking. And I’m not just saying that. I promise. And anyway, we went onto Eros and saw your ad there but also I remember my boyfriend had see you there before and had mentioned he liked you and I remembered that so…

anyway, my last name is Ray and my first name is Fay. Yes. Like the one in King Kong. Ha! Ha! And you can call me back at 555-555-5555. Call me back either way. Just so I know. I know that my boyfriend picked you out a long time ago on Eros and so I remembered that, as I said and so, have a nice day and give me a call at your convenience.

9. Hi. This is John. You can reach me on 828-288-2888.

10. (Male voice)—FUCK YOU!!

11. What a terrific website! Fooling around on the Internet. Saw the Website. Absolutely blown away. Not what’s expected. Not the ‘norm’. Just wanted to let you know that. You are absolutely exquisite. Remind me of a young Sofia Loren. Hope that doesn’t bother you because I find her--- (Click. Phone line goes dead.)

12. Geisha. This is Noah X.

(The Conservative Rabbi who wouldn’t see me again after he found out I was Jewish. Hadn’t heard from him in years.)

Long time no speak and see. I hope you’re doing well. My number in case you no longer have it is 908-888-7777 and uh…just..uh….was gonna be in the City tomorrow and was curious if you have any availability. So…uh…you can call me and leave a message. And if not, some other time then.

13. Yes. Hello Geisha. My name is Paul P. We have a great offer for you. We have a new ad site opening up, and you can find us at www. fuck your girlfriend. com. We’re offering you one month of free advertising and after that, an unbeatable rate. Call me. I know we can help your business grow in these 'troubled times'.

14. Hey Geisha.

(A taunting, somewhat threatening female voice)

This is a blast from your past. I hear through the hooker grapevine you’re planning to move to Florida. I’ll tell you what. It better not be the East Coast. That’s all I’m gonna say. You try it on the East Coast and I’ll have you fucked up before you even move in. It’s my territory. Got it? By the way, if you don’t know who this is, you have the memory span of a gnat. Welcome to Florida. Click.

(I know who it is. A gorgeous but vindictive girl who now runs a service and, in the past, tried diligently to put me out of business. Although, I’m not afraid of her, I’m relieved I will not be on the East Coast. I suppose every business has its ‘Jerry Springer’ folks.)

15. Hi Geisha. My name is (unintelligible). I uh, I had the delightful opportunity to, you know, get to know you a bit through your Website and I have to compliment you on that. Undoubtedly one of the most highly enjoyable Websites that I’ve come across and its extremely one of the most positive presentations that I’ve ever come across. And I thank you for taking the time and energy in putting it together. It certainly does what exactly you said it. It helped me, or anybody, to get to know you better.

I’m traveling in from out of the country, soon traveling to New York City. I’m in the process of expanding my business into the US and that’s part of my reason for visiting. But my other reason is finally to get the opportunity to meet the legendary Geisha.

Again my name is (unintelligible) and you can look up my Website at: (unintelligible) or you can just call me back if you are so inclined. As I hope you will be. And as far as calling and leaving me a message, calling and leaving your name is just fine. I guess. I am looking at you right now, and if you just want to say, "This is Geisha calling", I would be glad to say I knew you because you are extremely, extremely beautiful.

And now hearing your voice—uh—a voice that encompasses all the charm and beauty and grace that has been bestowed upon you—I know it is you I want to see.
I hope you have…a…awesome weekend. And everyday turns out the be as good as you wish it to be.

16. Hang Up.

17. Hang Up.

18. Hiya Geisha. This is (unintelligible) again. I hope I’m not bothering you by calling you again. Jus thought I’d take a chance again before I…uh…settle in for the evening…and uh…selfishly, it’s just nice to hear your voice again, if even on the recorder. As I indicated, my number is: xxx-xxx-xxxx. And my name is: Gale Lea Gordan (Finally Intelligible!) Strange name for a fellow, I know. But that’s what my mother gifted me. I hope you’ll call, as I can’t wait to see you in New York. In person. And hear that luscious voice in my ears. Up close. I hope you have an awesome weekend.

19. (Male voice in what sounds like Arabic. Phonetically--) Ruuf-ka Soo-ka!—FUCK YOU!

Although each week has it’s same callers and many different ones, as I listen back to the calls from this past week and the ones prior, they all seem oddly the same in so many ways.

Now that you’ve read two separate weeks, do you think so as well?


At 11:46 PM, Anonymous Electra x said...


what astounds me the most about your profession is how the public perceives it. they loathe your profession, but of course in their most private, horny moments when they're stroking their cocks, the very thing they desire is a gorgeous soft woman just like you. the ones that leave those "fuck you, whore" messages are the very one's that desire you the most. they are so afraid of you. actually, it's not negative, it's quite the opposite, very positive! they know you're the sort of woman they wish were in their arms as they're about to come. now there is coming and there is coming. coming to a hot babe, is not like coming perhaps to their so, so, girlfriend or wife. so to those horny human beings, that slam the phone down, leave awful messages, enjoy looking, lusting, dreaming and wanking over persephone, what are they doing there in the fisrt place, why are they at your site? c'mon to those that point the finger, those that judge, you love to fuck, make love and you're no different to the guy/girl you're sitting next to on the subway! we all fuck, want to definitely come and will do anything to achieve that most human desire in all of us. the desire to be wanted, the desire to be loved, the desire for the most exquisite, lustful orgasm, with an exquisite human being, just like persephone. anyone who disagrees is a liar, in denial, or maybe simply, just not healthy.


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