Horizontal Lives

True Tales of the Infamous Courtesan: Persephone N. Hades and her Horizontal Life underground. How she got there, her mis-adventures and her struggle to re-surface.

Friday, March 11, 2005

An Apology to 'Uncle You-know-who-You-are.


I’m sorry.
So so sorry.
My intention was not to hurt your feelings.
And I did, in a terrible way.
I am horribly ashamed.


I don’t know if you will read this.
You told me you hated what you read on my blog.
That you would not read it again.
But you did, and your feelings were shattered.

What you read was the tip of only one iceberg.
Feelings of frustration, anger and fear all come to a head.
What you are and have been is so much more.

You are talented as a Businessman.
You are talented as a Musician.
You are talented as a Photographer.

You have been a faithful, generous client.
You have been a loyal, kind friend.
You have showered me with gifts.
You put me on a Pedestal and
loved the image of who you hoped I was.

For all this, I have nothing but gratefulness, respect, love and admiration.

What I said, I felt was True.
But I shouldn’t have said it the way I did or in the manner I expressed it.
For that, I am so at fault.

I have only one small defense.
After our sessions with the Therapist, I was angry and fearful,
Imploding with rage at your stubborn mis-understanding
Your seeming vilification of me,
And your complete narcissistic lack of interest in learning who I really am,
Verified in your distaste for reading anything I had written in my blog.
And when you did read it, you not only took it out of context, but also made it personal,
as if all I said, wrote or experienced
was a personal affront on you.

My blog is my only creative outlet.
I pour myself into it.
After I received your angry email, I became frightened.
The only people who have ever truly hurt me in my life,
Have been men who at one time loved me
and therefore felt an irrational justification in ‘taking me down.’
So, out of fear, I wrote what I wrote.

I loved you as my client.
I love you as my friend.
I respect you as a man.

And I am truly sorry if the manner of expressing my disappointment,
Hurt your heart.

I hope you can understand and someday forgive me.








2 Comments:

At 1:58 PM, Blogger Samurai Warrior said...

Well you know what they say...
You can't REALLY hate someone unless you love them.

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Samurai Warrior said...

Well you know what they say...
You can't REALLY hate someone unless you love them.

 

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