Horizontal Lives

True Tales of the Infamous Courtesan: Persephone N. Hades and her Horizontal Life underground. How she got there, her mis-adventures and her struggle to re-surface.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Can Men and Women be SoulMates?: A Quiet Discusion.

Two Scorpio women sitting together at 10pm.

The 'One She' with black hair who looks like a sexy, vibrant version of ‘Morticia’, sits cupping a mug of steaming tea, her feet curled under, leaning back on the sofa. Born in Australia, Melbourne of Greek heritage, she speaks with a thick Aussie accent. Married when quite young, she has only been with one man—her husband.

The 'Other She' with long strawberry blond hair, sits in readiness, leaning forward in the antique stuffed chair, full glass of cold white wine in one hand, a cigarette exuding spirals of smoke in the other. Born in the Midwest but having lived all over Western Europe, she has an odd inflection that makes her accent difficult to pinpoint. Never married formally, the conjugal ‘wife’ of men innumerable.

"I think my marriage might be over." The One She said. "I was trying to tell him how I felt and finally I was like, ‘you’re my husband. Don’t you want to know everything I feel and think? Would you rather I lie to you and just tell you what you want to hear and just fake how I feel’? And you know what he said?"

The Other She, who had been fiercely nodding knowingly, said finally: "He said ‘Yes’."

The One She nods in disbelief. "He said ‘Yes’. Can you believe that? I’m shattered. How am I to go on with him? How can I believe that men and women can be soul mates when he says ‘Yes’ to something like that? When he actually wants---believes something like that? And he meant it! He would rather I lie to him than bog him down with what I really feel."

"I know. I know." The Other She says solemnly. "I remember when I discovered that about men and faced the same dilemma. It’s so startling and so discomforting that it seems there’s no place to put it inside yourself."

"I mean," the One She says, "I always had this yearning, this hope, that there was a man I could be a soul mate with. And here I thought I found and married one and now, 12 years into marriage and two children later, I discover he doesn’t want to know everything I feel and think. He doesn’t want to be my friend. I don’t know how to go on living in a world where it’s not possible for men and women to be soul mates."

"My love, don’t despair." The Other She reaches out to hold the free hand of the One She. "Here’s how. Think of it this way: Know how when a man tries to tell you how a computer or a camera or anything technical works and you get this ‘zzt zzt’ in your brain? And you say: ‘Oh god! Just make it work please! Don’t explain it to me! Don’t show me how! Just make it do what it’s supposed to do!’?"

"Hmmm. Okay." The One She acknowledges taking a sip of the hot tea.

"Try to imagine it this way: It’s the same for men emotionally—they don’t have the same capacity for processing all that stuff –they just want the closeness and the womanliness, the femininity to work of them, for them. They don’t want to be bogged down with knowing how it all works—just make it work and amaze me. Make me feel how a woman makes a man feel. All this other stuff makes me go ‘zzt zzt’."

"So what you’re saying is…" The One She ventures.

"What I’m saying is, we have very different skills and capacities. He’s shutting you down emotionally in the way you shut him down when it comes to technical matters you cannot possibly process."

The One She crinkles her mouth, starring into the steam rising from her cup.
"And you’re saying this from experience?" The One She questions.

"Too much experience."

"You think we're soul mates? He and I?"

"Do you?"

"The sex is fantastic. I want to f*ck him all the time. He’s a good father and provider…"

"Find friends to tell your inner stuff to." The Other She suggests, stubbing out her cig. "It’s not that they can’t be soul mates, it’s just that we have very different cards on the table, but we are both playing Gin."

"I wish it were different." The One She sighs, placing her drained tea bag on a coaster.

"Me too." The Other She says, finishing her wine. "But I refuse to spend my life in longing."

"But I’ve been with only one man. So how do I know it’s Him?"

"I’ve been with many and the right one, who has at least 80% of what you need to make you happy, that’s A One. And in that One, it has been my experience, live All. I’m glad I’ve had many, but I would give it all up for The One. Even if he was my first one."

"You would? Even if you didn't know any others?"

"I would." The Other She says without hesitation.

"So what do I do?"

"Go downstairs. Go home. Climb in bed. Give him a loving blow job and he’ll be ready to listen."

"Ugh. It’s so stupid."

"I know. But the lower head is the gateway to the upper head. All is possible. Just remember the entry point."

"Why can’t they just be like us?"

The Other She pours herself another glass of wine, leans back in her chair and sighs.
"If they were, they would be gay. Or Penis-less."

"That wouldn’t do." The One She laughs at last.


"Do you have a lipstick I can borrow before I go?" The One She inquires.

"For what?"

"For the pre-conversation, reconciliatory blowjob."

"I do." The Other She says, rising from her chair. "It’s called: ‘Whore in the Bedroom Red."

The One She calls the Other She the next morning leaving a voicemail saying:

"Post BJ, we talked. He promised never to make me learn how the computer works and I promised never to disclose the mysteries of being a woman. I think I’m getting the hang of it. All’s well that ends well. Shame though. No?"


At 8:01 AM, Blogger Zen Master said...

Many men can definitely be sole mates if they want to be. If you can make them adore you, you will become the center of their universe (at least for a period of time).

The lower head may not be able to talk, but it is sensitive and will certainly respond if you treat it well. Then the upper head gets jealous!

Ever notice that the lower head can get jealous when you start kissing the upper head and gets big to get noticed?

Don't tell me you've never met a man that could have been your sole mate? Of course, he could have been "sold"!

At 5:09 PM, Blogger Mellow Blue said...

Let me see, this guy is a great lover, a great provider and an all over great guy but he doesn't want to know her most intimate thoughts every minute of the day and thus he's not her soul mate and that's grounds for considering divorce? Huh?

I think my disbelief typifies the difference between men and women. Men would say is this woman serious? Women would understand her.

With respect to the Zen Master I really doubt Soul-matism is something you can turn on with sex. It's a nice romantic conception which sometimes exists in the first bloom of love or infatuation but for a lifetime is just not a realistic expectation.

It sounds like your fellow Scorpio is simply getting into the "there's-something-missing" midlife phase of her life. It happens to all of us.

It's a tough phase, having been there I know. I wish her luck getting through it but don't throw the baby out with the dishwater (is that a mixed metaphor?).

At 9:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this isn't mine

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
- Albert Einstein -
Just thought it might help
Jonathon Livingston Seagull

At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe this will help
maybe not
but either way it's fun

At 5:48 PM, Blogger Skarlett said...

It's been my expierence that most women need to connect emotionally to open up physically, while most men need to connect physically to open up emotionally.
Men feel loved and emotionally connected when they have sex-women have sex when they feel loved and emotionally connected.
It's not true for all of us, but for quite a few-

At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's really sad that both have decided to draw a line in their journey towards understanding each other. I've had the same discusion with my mate and while we don't always understand the other we try. If we both understood each other perfectly what fun would that be?
Wouldn't we be exactly alike?
p.s. I hope everything's alright Persephone: We haven't heard from you in a while and your voice is missed


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