Horizontal Lives

True Tales of the Infamous Courtesan: Persephone N. Hades and her Horizontal Life underground. How she got there, her mis-adventures and her struggle to re-surface.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Buffalo Wings and Beer for a Courtesan's Soul

A friend of mine wrote a book as a catharsis to his own emotional journey.
I haven’t seen him since his book came out but wrote him an email for the New Year just checking in on him.

In return, he sent me back a note so kind, so unexpected, I think I underwent emotional whiplash for a few hours.

I only print it here because he speaks of what I try to do and be within my business yet never really know if I’m actually ever ‘felt’ that way by the people who come to see me.

Dear Pretty Lady,

Now that I don't have to be clever, I'm still stuck on what to say. I read much of your (blog)writings and I think I understand some of your philosophies on life a little better. You are the same in your desires as everyone else, in looking for companionship, love, friendship but very different at the same time.

You have (but not limited to) three qualities that people talk about possessing but never really own. They sound great and make for terrific first impressions. The problem is people only read about these qualities in some book, saw them in a movie character or had them knocked into their head by every pop psychologist on TV, but never live them.

Part of why you possess these qualities is because of your intelligence.

(Remember, I give IQ tests all day) and whether you believe in them or not, I always say,

"I'd rather have an IQ than not have one."

So, you start at a disadvantage in life in being in the top .001% of the population.

I have a problem relating to, and I don't mean in an elitist manner, people with average intelligence.

Your problem is far greater than mine.

Intelligence brings with it, sometimes, the burden of feeling compassion, empathy and love more deeply than the general population. I see it in my daughter.

Your joy for the sensual, the sublime, all that left of center stuff is a part of your core personality.

So on to the Top Three List Of Qualities That You Possess That Other People Think They Should Possess Or Wish They Did To Impress Other People That They Are Truly Wonderful:

You are honest with everyone you meet and offer no false pretense of what the experience of spending time with you may be like, cost, or what effect it may have on a person.

You honestly enjoy what you do and give of yourself and your time.

Your honesty also leaves you vulnerable to being misunderstood or hurt.

Seems you would just like people to be honest with you, accept the love you show them within the limited bottled time spent between two people as real and genuine, with all the other bullshit of the explanations of who, what, why, you and they are, forgotten during the time you have prepared and make available for what you try to make an extraordinary experience for both of you.

It seems like it is too hard for people to be honest when we spend most of our lives playing roles and games.

Living In The Present Moment
You are blessed with somehow doing this, and well.

I tried to do this when I was with you and succeeded for only part of the time. It was spiritual time. Most of the other time was spent thinking about of how can I impress you and other things that consumed valuable 'enjoying you time.'

This PM thing is tough for most of us.

That is what makes the glit in your eyes, that provocative smile and no holds barred laugh of yours so enjoyable. You are actually there listening and fully participating with whom ever you are with at that present moment.

That is why you would make and in many ways are a great therapist.

Unconditional Love
You are one of the only people I know (K. O'Sullivan being the other person) whose relationship comes with no strings attached.

Except for the fee, which obviously some people come to resent: "Why, the heck if you say you have shared "love" with me why should I pay you?"

I pay my therapist every week and sometime feel I should pay more. Why? Where else can I go that someone will listen to my crap for a full 45 minutes and not tell me to shut and leave. It is one place I get to have some unconditional love in my life.

Few people seem to get that about you. It is such a wonderful quality. I'm getting better at it but you live it.

My mother was taken care of by Hospice nurses, which taught me a few things about respect and humility. I really believe I am a better person for the experience of being around these people. I have thought of volunteering for Hospice down the road a piece. The nicest compliment I can pay you is that their warmth reminded me of you. You would make a great Hospice nurse.

Stop laughing.

Looking forward to seeing you in the New Year.

Boy, can I ramble.



His book is called "Buffalo Wings and Beer For the Married Man’s Soul." If you’re interested, I placed a review of his book in the comment section of this post.

P.S. Boy am I blushing. Thank you KJ. Thank you for percieving me in such a sweet way. Thank you for receiving me. Your openness to me, your ability to be present with me was a gift in itself. Your letter was a "Spiritual ‘Hot-Toddy’ to warm a Courtesan’s Soul."

What a wonderful feeling to start 2005 with. I'm very grateful.


At 11:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Buffalo Wings and Beer For the Married Man's Soul" by K.J. be Beau is available at authorhouse.com

'Ah, marriage, that storied, stable union which serves as the backbone of America. Isn't that right? Well, those of you who answered yes are probably either sex-deprived males or women, according to the author of this new politically incorrect dissertation on the pitfalls of holy matrimony.'

'Buffalo Wings...' may provide a way for unfulfilled husbands to let off steam and have an uncomfortable laugh at themselves, but it also provides some serious insights into the breakdown of the modern family. The author hopes he can make readers' marriages better. "While reading, always remember: Sex doesn't kill--it's the lack thereof that does.'"


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