Horizontal Lives

True Tales of the Infamous Courtesan: Persephone N. Hades and her Horizontal Life underground. How she got there, her mis-adventures and her struggle to re-surface.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Dodging Bullets

Almost took the trek above ground to a ‘real life’ date this week but never got out of the box.

Received another stray email from Internet dating site that still keeps my pic although I am no longer a member, verbatim:

Hi…my name is Luigi and i completely fell in love with what i see i think we would both get along well…i’m just going on gut feeling…just because of the simple fact initially get attracted here…so i decided to go searching and see what i like and you caught my eye…i have some pics in my ad that you can see…i hope you like them and if that goes well and if you like what you read then write me back…bye for now…Luigi

Looked up his ad. Photo nice enough. Him posing with two Rottwielers. (sp?) Never know and the ache to date strong this week.

Dear Luigi,
Thank you for writing. Do you come to NYC? If so maybe we can have a drink and see if there is any chemistry.

I always say that if I respond to an ad. I don’t have time to date really and less time to play email tag.

He writes:

What is your number?

I write, giving him my cell.

He writes:


HI Luigi,
I am a technological moron—just a warning! Don’t know how to use the text feature in my phone. Did get a text message but didn’t know it was from you. Thank you. I look forward to meeting you in person soon.
All the best,

For the next three days, he calls me persistently, just wanting to chat. I call him back once, speaking to him in person and twice to his machine explaining my circumstances vaguely and my time restrictions precisely. Although I say it with more charm, the gist is: I am at work. I am a massage therapist. I am a one-man band. I get up early and go to bed late. I have no secretary or assistant. I would love to talk with him. We need to pick a time we are both relaxed and can have a chat.

It doesn’t penetrate. He calls again. I say again, that this is not a good time for me. Can we find a better time to talk? He hangs up on me.

He calls again. I am annoyed now. I say ‘You know what. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be.’ He says, ‘What are you saying.’ I respond, ‘We seem to be having communication problems already and we haven’t even met in person yet. So I think maybe we shouldn’t meet in person.’ He hangs up on me again.

I take care of people all day and night. If I am going to be with a man in ‘real life’ I want someone that is caring and empathetic with my situation. That takes care of me a bit. At least one who listens.

2 a.m. that evening I open my email to this message:

Ya know…all i asked was if we could talk before i meet you…it’s customary to speak with someone a little bit before you meet them so you feel some compatibility with that person...the way you make it sound like you’re way too busy and we can just meet and take it from there…well darling i don’t have the leisure to truck into the city to see if someone is just physically attracted to me...most women are but i need to see if there is mental chemistry also…then on top of that when i ask if you wanna talk later you say…ya know what,,maybe we shouldn’t meet…are you that self involved? Looks are 50%, the other is brains, class, and common sense….also you act like you are some kind of royalty…i have 1700 employees and work 16-20 hours a day…i still make 10-15 min to talk with a woman i find interest in…you should evaluate your approach with the next man and be a little more tactful…because i would never put up with that attitude from anyone and that’s because i have self-respect….anyman that does is a complete fuck’n idiot.

You know very little about me or my life and I know just as little about yours. What I do know, is not once, when I said it was busy for me at the moment and that I was a bit overwhelmed with work and an emergency today and the next few days, did you say, even to yourself—‘you seemed overwhelmed right now.why don’t you give me a call in the upcoming week when things calm down a bit’…instead you plowed ahead, a bit like a bull in a china shop, not really very sensitive to my issue at the moment. Then, when I said something you didn’t care for, your choice was to hang up on me. Yes, I am self-involved and yes, I am a very kind and generous person as well, And Yes, you are probably both as well. We are human beings and I cannot indite an entire person’s character or life based on a phone conversation. Just because you are in the city today, did not make it a convenient for me. A lot was going on in my life this week and I had several emergencies to attend to as well. I mentioned this, this morning during one of our phone conversations, but I don’t think you quite listened to it. I’m sure you are a very busy person. I am sure you are a very nice person. And I am sure you can have your days off as well. All these are true of me and most people. That is all that occurred. There was no slight to you—just an asking that you be patient and talk at a time that I was more able to. So you are right and it is a good thing you found out now, that I am not the one to trudge to the city to meet. You win. All these sites are for is to try—not everyone is a match of course. At the moment, you need something I can’t give and I need a little more sensitivity and understanding when it comes to my schedule. We can’t offer it to each other and it is nothing personal I know from me to you or you to me.
I am sure there will be a lady upcoming that will be your soul mate.
I do wish you all the best,

Expected that to be that. Instead, this reply came:

I asked you to talk later on in the week and I never said you have to meet me tonight so don’t put words in my mouth…all I asked was would you like to talk another time and you said…YA KNOW WHAT, MAYBE WE SHOULD NOT MEET….i have no time for princesses…and that’s what you sound like…like I was annoying you…you didn’t seem too busy to write 1000 words of a paragraph…hmmmmm…well I did like speaking with you from what transpired and I think it would be a shame not to meet but I don’t tolerate snippy or condescending behaviour

One of us dodged a bullet.

Although, I’m not sure whether it was me or him.

Have a busy work week upcoming, so it's back to the underground where it's safe(r).


At 1:00 AM, Blogger cash advance baltimorefe said...

Striking blog. I liked the site I will be back
again! Websurfing is a good way to find blogs like
Check out my cash advance network blog, you won't be sorry!


Post a Comment

<< Home